i am but a dog
HOW TO COOK THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF PASTA:

sarcastic-sanity:

1. Pour out how much you think you need.

2. Wrong.

theusb:

While We Feared 1984 - They Let Us Brave New World Ourselves.

mountainsandmochas:

one of my favorite ron swanson lines

exoticshorthairs:

I picked it myself human.

exoticshorthairs:

I picked it myself human.

ashpocalypse-now:

Ain’t that some shit?

supersmashthestatebros:

as a respected, well-read academic, i would expect you to be familiar with the expression “a picture is worth a thousand words,” so i’m a little surprised you’re questioning why my PhD dissertation on fluid dynamics is 74 pictures of me sitting in a bathtub full of Red Bull.

when anyone criticizes how out of shape you are just ask them if they can offer you definitive proof that your body even exists and then backflip the fuck away when they can’t (you can do backflips so how out of shape can you really be anyway)

I want to die
Anonymous

blendedofficial:

Great question!

BLENDED stars Funnyman Adam Sandler and America’s Sweetheart Drew Barrymore! It hits theaters nationwide May 23!


Real life vs Societal expectations

Real life vs Societal expectations